Is There Any Cure for Me!?!

The multiple listing service (MLS), where all the real estate for sale is listed, has become my new best friend.  I know what you're saying. Lorraine, you already bought a house, you can stop looking now. 

No, I can't. You see I have developed a nasty virus.  Unlike the typical "buyer's remorse" you often hear about, I have developed something on the total opposite end of the spectrum. It's called 

"I got the nicest house in my price range, nanny nanny poo poo-itis."  

I hear it may even me incurable. Symptoms include:

*Compulsively checking MLS for homes in the same price range that I got my home for

*Thoroughly examining each photo of said houses and scoffing at the ugly carpet, impossible to remover wallpaper, or horrific hot pink and orange bathroom tile.

*Calculating the amount of acreage of said houses times the desirability of location divided by the cost of taxes to the power of home renovations needed...times pi.

*Basking in the realization that my house has the most acreage, best location, moderate taxes, and least renovations needed of the homes in its price range....times pi.

*Compulsively RE-checking MLS in surrounding areas as well, to make sure that I'm still right.

Yup, it's a nasty nasty case I've got. But boy does it make me feel good at the end of the day!

Manual Labor

I spent this weekend in Rhode Island with Chris's family. It was nice to do the New England thing and see everyone, but I was more excited for Monday.

Monday was going to be manual labor day. We left Rhode Island around 8:30 am so that we could meet dad at my new house. Monday was the day we would do a few things.

1. Check out the hiking trails in our backyard. Yes, you heard me, there are trails in my backyard.

2. Introduce Tug to the new house and let him sniff all over our massive needing to be mowed lawn and our teeny tiny house.

3. DEMOLITION!!!!!!


Ok, so having hiking trails in the woods in your backyard? Um. Effing awesome. They don't go on for miles and miles but they go on enough for a good dog walking and a good little burst of "into the woods" time. Tug enjoyed thoroughly and even more-so enjoyed the big lawn to pee all over. But me? I was most excited for the demo to begin.

Our big plan is to get into the house by the end of July. Thankfully for us, very little needs to be done. The house was built in 1950 but has new windows, roof, driveway, siding, all the big stuff. What it DOES need is new molding and new doors. And this means we got to rip things apart. Nothing better than that!! There is something so therapeutic about hammering and pulling and throwing around big pieces of wood. My job was to wait on the deck for the hunks of wood and hammer all the nails out so the wood could go to the dump. And dammit I enjoyed it thoroughly!! Another thing I thoroughly enjoyed? Listening to my dad exclaim how well built this house is. That there are a zillion nails holding everything together and the walls are built like a fort.

You may not be able to appreciate this as much as I can. But my dad is an electrician by trade and can build anything. Anything involved with home improvement...he is a pro. But his favorite pastime is bitching about how poorly everything is built and how HE is going to have to fix all of it. So the fact that this lil' house in the woods that I bought happens to be to HIS standards of "well built" is so many years of redemption rolled into one, you can't even begin to understand. He even said that MY house was built better than HIS!!

SCORE!!!!

So I have to admit, I am thrilled with my little house. It's so damn cute, the property is so damn amazing, and pretty soon we will make it our own. It was not built with crappy drywall that will fall apart the minute I hang a picture, it was not built by some massive development company in one month so that it looks all fancy but is actually made of toothpicks....it is a good house. A good solid house with lots of possibility and I love it.
That and all the manual labor that goes with it. :)

Trauma- Life at the Doggie Park

No joke here. My brother's dog Holly is a papillon, just like my dog Tug. This means she is a small dog with a big dog's heart shoved inside of her, along with the cuteness of the cutest thing you've ever seen, the genius of lassie, and the athletic ability of...well ok...we'll leave that to Tug. My dog is the circus dog while Holly more prefers to lounge. But in any event, she's awesome. And all that awesome packed in to one little doggie tends to make other dogs....jealous.

Sadly for Holly, the other day that other dog happened to be a massive German Shepherd. Now look. I don't know how many of you people go to dog parks. But there is an unspoken rule. If your dog is an an asshole, ya can't come in!! In fact, add to that... if you are asshole who never should have gotten a dog in the first place, because you can't control it, ya can't come in then either!!!

Unfortunately for Holly, the apparent combination of both of these manifested itself into one said massive German Shepherd and one said massive raging asshole owner. No sooner were Stephen and Jocelyn about to leave, as too many big dogs started showing up, did this German Shepherd go apeshit. In what I can only imagine was the most traumatic thing they have ever witnessed (i was not there, i only heard) the German Shepherd attacked Holly, took her in his mouth and started shaking her back and forth violently.

She lived. Somehow. We all still aren't sure how. She apparently bled everywhere, as Stephen scooped her up and ran her to the vet. He thought for sure she was a goner, but those papillons, they are damn troopers. So Holly was stitched up (which took many many stitches) and while I always made fun of Stephen for having a slightly pudgy dog, I have to think her round lil haunches saved her life. Miraculously, despite two HUGE flesh wounds the size of a Shepherd's jaw, she did not break any bones or puncture any vital organs. So I have to think the fact that she was grabbed from the back, and not the head or neck, was a life saver. I really can't imagine witnessing that. Stephen says he hardly remembers what was happening because he was so traumatized. Of course after dropping Holly off for surgery they tried to see if the asshole owner had come to the vet or perhaps hung around the dog park, but no, of course he took off. His and his asshole aggressive dog. So they were stuck with the $1500 bill and a whole lot of grief. For someone who also has no kids, and only a dog, I know that your dog is essentially treated like your child. The thought of seeing it nearly eaten...well I just can't imagine that.

As of today, Holly is recovering doing well. But I imagine she will be a little off her game for awhile. So folks, the dog park can be a fun place. But dogs are dogs and animals don't always do what you think they are going to do. Dogs that have never been properly socialized have no place at the dog park. People who are assholes also have no place owning huge dogs that are probably smarter than they are. Take heed.

Why I Will Miss Rockland County

It's official. Christopher and I are homeowners. As of Monday we are the proud owners of a little ranch in Putnam County. And as of Wednesday night, we get to start moving in. (which we intend to do very slowly as we have a few things to get in line before we actually haul all of our crap up there).

So, I've lived away from Valley Cottage before. In college to Scranton and then to Nashville and then to Clarksville, TN. So yea, I've moved around before. But this is the first time I will ever be living anywhere in NY but Rockland County- so I have to write a little list on the things I will miss.

1. Living on Sequoia Drive

We currently rent the upstairs of my dad's house from him. I grew up on Sequoia drive, and am still friends with the families I grew up with since birth. The things I love about Sequoia Drive are: 

-It's name. Sequoias are my favorite tree

-The dead end. Nothing beats living on a dead end.

-The train. I have a huge freight railroad line that runs through my backyard. The sound (or should I say the defeaning sound) of the train roaring past is one of my favorite sounds.

-The creek. Or more like a moat now that they have widened it to prevent flooding. 

Here's to you, Sequoia Drive. I will clearly be back to visit my dad, but I will miss seeing you every day!!

2. Seeing my Dad

Ok, so my dad may be a pain sometimes, but at the end of the day he has the biggest heart of anyone I know. And as much as I get frustrated yelling so that he can actually hear me, or finding the my laundry has been folded (keep your hands off my unmentionables dad!) I will miss the fact that he would always ask if I wanted him to make me dinner, the oil on my car would miraculously be changed, and the dog would always be entertained during the day.

Papa D is the best.

3. Nyack

I heart downtown Nyack. I know there are plenty of similiar towns in Putnam and Northern Westchester, but something about Nyack will always be close to my heart!

4. Being so close to the Hudson

Not like I'm moving far from the water exactly, but I loved being right there.

5. The New City Diner

See my previous post about this one. I will miss the New City Diner so much. Not to mention that their owners have opened up a NEW second diner in Blauvelt.  I hope the grand opening happens before I leave!

6. Knowing all the super secret shortcuts

As most of you already know, I am totally obsessed with maps. I love directions and finding my way around. Living in Rockland my whole life, I can tell you 16 different ways to get to just about every destination. I know the fastest way, the shortest way, the way with the fewest lights, the prettiest way, the way with the best shops on the way, the way that will allow you to pass the DINER on the way, and every way in between.  So that fact that I will now be the sucker driving on the main roads because I don't know any other way....totally irks the shit out of me. 

7. Being close to Jersey

So again, not like I'm going to be FAR from Jersey, but I'll have to cross a bridge to get there. And in case you think Jersey is worthless, let me remind of these fun facts.

-Gas is almost always 20-30 cents cheaper per gallon

-It's always full serve. It's the law in Jersey that you cannot pump your own gas!

-There is no sales tax on clothes

-They have malls that are actually worth going to

-They have more diners per square mile than just about anywhere

-The Emm Effing Jerzzzzzey Shore

8. The Palisades Parkway

Unlike Jersey and unlike the other side of the bridge, we have a b-line road that takes us right to the GW bridge WITHOUT going through Jersey traffic and WITHOUT going through the Bronx.  So while it will be nice to be on the city side of the river, driving in through the Bronx to get to Manhattan will be a major pain in the keester. I have a feeling I may end up suffering the very long train ride to go into NYC.

9. The Tappan Zee Bridge

I know most Rocklanders would think I was absolutely out of my mind for saying this. The TZ bridge is old, constantly under construction, and notoriously backed up. But I cross it every day to go to work. And no matter what the traffic or the hold up, I can never deny a single fact. The view from the Tappan Zee Bridge is absolutely breathtaking. It crosses over the Hudson River for a whopping 3-mile span. It is the longest span of any bridge of its kind. To one side you get a view of Hook Mountain- gorgeous. And to the other side you can just peek around the corner to see the Manhattan skyline. Whether it's a gray choppy river day or a bright sunny day, I've seen more beautiful skies crossing that bridge that just about anywhere else. Not to mention that I have seen 5 rainbows- FULL ARCH rainbows- in the 2.5 years that I have been crossing that bridge every day to go to work. Gorgeous.

10.  I Grew Up Here!!

I guess I don't really need to elaborate on this one. I have awesome memories in this place. I have memories of people I will never see again and things I can never recreate. But in the end, I am excited to be moving. I am excited to start a new life with Chris in a new place. And it's not far from home (45 minutes). Just visiting our house on the day of our closing, I stood in the backyard and it took my breath away. This is MY backyard! This is MY house!!! I live here!!

What an amazing accomplished feeling that is. It's been a good week so far. :)

ShopRite Gone Wrong

Chris and I enjoy adventure. We also enjoy being creatures of habit in our own little ways. Grocery shopping happens to be one of these habits. Now admittedly, I am a fan of the "go to the market and wing it" strategy, while Chris is of the list-making breed. Years of being together has taught me that there is no way I am getting the man to the supermarket without a list. So be it.
Recently, our lives have been totally insane. Time is a thing of the past and hence grocery shopping for us usually means 8:30 pm on Sunday night. We try to tell ourselves this is normal by saying we are "avoiding the crowds" or "waiting until they restock from the Sunday rush" but in reality, then we realize that we go so late because there is no way in hell we'll ever get our shit together to get out of the house with list in hand before that time.

Today, however, something about our grocery trip completely rocked our world. Somehow between last week and this week, the ShopRite of West Nyack has completely remodeled. Apparently the freezer section had begun sinking into the marshland (this market is located next to the Palisades Mall, notorious for the fact that it too is sinking into the marshland, all 3rd largest mall in America of it).

This threw us for a loop. For starters, when you walk in now, you are faced with what is called the "Pharmacy Privacy Section." This section is stocked with condoms, pregnancy tests, lubes, and the like. This cracked me up as the "Privacy Section" is now the very first thing glaring in front of you as you walk in the store. How anyone thought that this would be "private" is beyond me.

I take a quick look around. WTF. The fruits and vegetables, which were once the far left of the store, are now located in what is the MIDDLE of the store, with aisles on either side of it. This completely effs our system. We always get the fruits and veggies first, then make our way through the rest of the store. Chris insists we should not break tradition and heads for the pile of peaches. I am hesitant. Shouldn't we start on one end and make our way to the other? No, the habit monster has struck again. Besides, I too enjoy our system. We are a well oiled grocery shopping machine.

Or well. We were. The problem is, they haven't just relocated the freezer section and a few shelves. They have completely re-arranged everything. I am totally out of sorts. To make it worse, I am wearing a baseball cap. I know what you are saying. What the hell does that have to do with anything? Well, for me, having my peripheral vision blocked out by the rim of my hat sort of does something to my consciousness. Don't think I don't realize how insane this sounds, but it's something like Jeff from Today's Special (if you don't know what I am talking about I pity your Nickelodeon-less childhood). In any event, my inability to see what is around me makes it impossible for me to function normally. But for some reason the little tunnel vision I develop with a baseball cap makes me feel all warm and cozy. I wear baseball caps only when going grocery shopping, and only when going grocery shopping in the rain.

So back to the mission. Things start going wrong when I break out in song and dance in the new "cereal and rice aisle." The cereal was never with the rice before. I do a little dance and sing a song about it. Chris is looking at his list, previously written in a manner that would allow us to go from end to end checking things off in the proper order. Well the new set up means out list is completely fucked. And now I am dancing. I get a look. Usually Chris likes my dances, but not when he can't find where the granola bars are located. We scoot into the napkin aisle. I am moving at a snails pace, commenting on every little thing I see, something like the kid in the outfield sniffing the dandelions. It's the baseball cap, I tell you!! Chris asks me to please stop dancing so that we can get this grocery trip over before 10pm.
We are now on a mission for oatmeal. I start hysterically laughing. Chris asks why, as my laughing has now prevented me from moving forward down the aisle. "Well, I was just imagining myself doing a little dance down this aisle, and it went like this." Uh oh. So I'm dancing in the market again. I tend to do this quite often. I'll think of something I think is funny and bust out laughing and no one knows why. Only now I had to go act on it.

We have now done at least 3 laps of the entire market as the new set up has totally screwed us up and we keep missing things on the list. Chris has gone up and down every aisle searching in vain for the couscous. I am still moving slowly, baseball cap mode, and I see Chris take off. Uh oh. He has entered "I am on a fucking mission" mode....and it has begun to escalate into "Code Blue my wife is dancing again, must move faster and ditch the crazy lady" mode. I look up from my tunnel baseball vision and Chris is practically running with the cart. By the time I mosey on over the his end of the store, I find a nice gentleman who works there. He looks disturbed. I ask him where the couscous is located. His eyes widen and he says "oh, some other guy just asked for that."
"Yea, he's my husband." Right now grocery boy is thinking wow, that guy was moving like he's on large amounts of speed, and he is married to you, who is moving like she is on large amounts of dope.

For the record, neither of us use drugs.

And normally, I do move quite quickly. Just not on a late night grocery trip when wearing my baseball cap. Needless to say, we left sans couscous and called it a night.

Savannah and Veterans

So the wedding in Savannah was great in the sense that Savannah is an amazing city. Everyone should get there at some point. Preferably in the spring (I have a feeling it gets nasty come summer time). However, seeing all of our old college friends from Chris's ROTC class was really hard. This is the first time they have all been in one place since graduating college. Opposite deployment schedules to Iraq have meant they have been in opposite places for years now. So they have all been shipped back and forth overseas multiple times.

I could go on and on about how sad it is. About how many of them are injured and scarred physically and emotionally. I could tell you word for word how they talked about wasting their 20's watching people die, and how maybe them dying would have been a better option. About how they would start having panic attacks in small spaces because they couldn't see the exits. About how they were having horrible neurological symptoms from an IED that went off yards away from them.  About how they are ALL getting out of the army but are having horrible times finding jobs, despite having college degrees, because the job market sucks and sucks 100 times more because of discrimination against veterans.

But instead of going into the great detail, I will just say this. My friends are not the same. They will never be the same. These experiences have changed them forever. And it makes me very very sad.  I am so lucky that Chris has readjusted to civilian life without issue. Most men who have been in this war are not so lucky. It truly broke my heart.

Three Years Today

On May 09, 2005 I was having open heart surgery. So today marks the three year anniversary of that day. Today, three years later, I am feeling good. I am running around like a maniac getting ready to drive to Savannah, Georgia for a wedding. Couldn't possibly be doing anything more different than I was that day in 2005.It's more or less totally insane for me to think about how this was me right after surgery...
Yup, that's me at Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville, TN where I had my surgery. And no, my family isn't nuts. It was my own morbid curiosity. Pre-surgery I requested that they take pictures of me while I was still hooked up to the breathing machine, etc, as I was curious how that must have looked and thought it'd be a cool momento to have. This is the least gross picture that came out of the mix. All in all I had a breathing tube, a central line in my neck, a central line in my wrist, two pacing wires coming out of my chest, two drainage tubes coming out of my chest, EKG wires, a pressure cuff, an IV in each hand, and well...a massive effing scar.

But in any event, it has made me reflect about a lot of things. For starters, check out the difference between me then and me now...

THEN (about 2 weeks post-op)

NOW

It's amazing that you can hardly even see my scars any more! But the truly amazing thing is that I was given a new lease on life. I've not been shy about the fact that my health has been anything but ideal. In fact it has down right sucked. But if it wasn't for one very thorough echo-tech at Ft. Campbell's Blanchfield Army Hospital (trust me, I too am shocked that I am praising an Army hospital) I could very well be on my way to being a goner by now. The fact was, I had been complaining of cardiac distress since 1999. I had chest pains, palpitations, what felt like an irregular heart beat, all sorts of symptoms. The diagnoses that I received over the years before 2005? Acid reflux, costochondritis, anxiety, and mitral valve prolapse. More or less, doctors blew me off. A 20 year old coming in complaining of cardiac issues when nothing blatant pops up means it's probably nothing according to them. Now...I do have a mitral valve prolapse, but how scary to think that after all the echos and EKGs and cardiac tests that I had done in 1999, no one caught the other more life threatening congenital defects I had. In fact all my LIFE no one saw or heard them. These were things that usually got fixed in infancy!

So thankfully in 2005, I had an episode at my job. I kept feeling like I was going to pass out for weeks on end. I'd be driving to work and would have to pull over because I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I'd get short of breath and my head would feel like it was going to explode. For awhile I thought maybe I was having mini seizures because I'd almost lose consciousness for a moment and then zip back into it. But at work one day, I walked behind the nurses station and the head nurse took one look at me and said "sit the hell down." She said I was diaphoretic (sweating excessively for no reason), almost completely white in color, and looked visibly out of breath. My blood pressure typically is about 95/65. That day it was 150/100. My resting heart rate is usually high...around 80 or 90...but that day was 165. Resting. This was all completely abnormal. I got sent to the ER. And guess what. They said nothing was wrong. But they DID tell me to follow up with a cardiologist. Normally, I may have blown it off. But with all the symptoms I had been having, I knew I had to do something.

So I made an appointment at the Army hospital, as that was where my insurance worked out of. I was not thrilled about this because my experiences with the Army doctors had been nothing short of horrors. But I have to say, I literally owe them my life. Wouldn't you know it, that very thorough echo-tech saw that something was "a little off" to say the least. The right side of my heart was significantly enlarged. And it looked like there may be a hole. More tests were run and they found both the rare location of hole in my heart (which meant open heart surgery would be the only option for fixing it) and the pulmonary vein that was partially connected to the wrong part of my heart. Essentially, all the oxygenated blood was either leaking to the other side of my heart or being recirculated back out into my body. Very little of it was making it to my heart. In the end the doctors told me that the structural defects in my heart would have led the right side of my heart to enlarge even further, eventually leading to cardiac arrest. As the internet put it,
"After age 20 years, the mortality rate is approximately 5% per decade with 90% of patients dead by age 60 years."
Um. Yikes! However this clearly put things into perspective for me. Sure, open heart surgery sucked enormously. It tore my body to shreds. But I could have gone a lifetime never knowing and I could have been dead much sooner than hoped.

So in actually, open heart surgery was the best thing that has ever happened to me. My friend KK (Kristen) always tells me how much she loves my scar, as it is why I am still around. My appreciation for this fact is far deeper than I would ever show. Secretly, I do love my scar. Immensely.

Weighty Issue

In typical girl fashion, I have always had issues with my weight. While I realize that any normal person looking at me would say "You are skinny. Shut up." that isn't really where I am going with this. I'm not trying to imply that I think I am currently fat. I logically know that I am thin. But what it comes down to for me is feeling comfortable in my skin.

I have an issue. I can only operate in two planes. Eating way too much or eating way too little. My appetite fluctuates from non-existent to ravenous and does not know anything of a nice normal in between. So my weight has this tendency to fluctuate within this 5-10 lb range that I can't seem to get a good handle on. And the fact is that I am rarely comfortable in my skin. At 5'7" I know how much I should weigh. I know that my tendency is to weigh less than that. But I know that regardless of what number it says on the scale, I know how I like to feel in my clothes. And it irks the friggin hell out of me when I don't feel that way.

I try really hard to figure out what it is about my appetite and my food issues (I become completely fixated. Sometimes all I can think about is food. Whether it's seeking it out or avoiding it, I have no healthy relationship with it in any remote sense of the word). Perhaps it's something physical, perhaps my metabolism and my appetite just can't get it together. Maybe that's why my appetite fluctuates the way it does. Or maybe it's totally psychological. I don't really know. But either way, I'm growing tired of it. I want to be thin and fit and not too thin but not any less thin than I am now. Is that sooooo much to ask?

Oh. Well dammit....

Movin' On Up...sort of

On May 19, Chris and I are scheduled to have the closing on our very first home purchase. While this is extremely exciting, I have to be honest. I am scared effing shitless. Why? Because the thought of handing over a check for a sum that is the large majority of our life savings is kind of like bending over and letting someone have their way with you. Oh. That and the thought of paying the mortgage. Essentially, we will be paying more than double what we are paying right now in rent. Somehow we all calculated that we can actually afford to do this. But as I (now obsessively) check my bank statement from paycheck to paycheck, I find myself thinking...sure we can afford this. As long as we can eat imagination for dinner and figure out how to make our cars run on hopes and dreams!!!! The $1000 a month healthcare costs certainly don't help my case. Honestly if it wasn't for that, we could afford this house no problem. And I realize that when it comes down to it, I may have to scale things back for a little while. Not to mention that the job market being as it is, it doesn't look like either of us will be getting any big raises or promotions any time soon. Of course I guess the godwaful economy is the only reason we are able to buy a house right now ANYway. Living in the suburbs of NYC is also much like bending over and having someone have their way with you. A little less than actually living IN the city...but not by much.
Now I know what you're thinking. But you work in the NY metro area...you get PAID more!! Right?
Wrong.
I mean sure, I get paid more. Do I get paid enough more to make up for the absurd discrepancy between average salary and cost of living? Absolutely not!! When I was working in Nashville for that year, I made only $10,000 less than what I make right now. That's it. And in Nasvhille, making what I made was like being filthy rich!! Anything over 40K is like making 100K in NY. No joke. Proof? We rented a 4bedroom, 2 bathroom, brand new house with a shit load of land for a whopping $750 a month. We could have bought the same house for $80,000. I didn't work for the last few months I was there, after my surgery. And on Chris's salary alone, which wasn't much, we still had plenty of money to pay for everything we needed, wanted, and more. So yes. I may make more than someone living somewhere else. But I certainly don't make enough. Needless to say, I am not making six figures. And that's about what you need to make to make ends meet around here. I look at my friends who live outside cities like Philly and Chicago and I hear about them buying these nice houses in the $250's or nice condos in the $200's. For fun, I plugged 250K into a real estate search engine in the three local NY counties that surround NYC. Rockland (where I currently live), Westchester (where I currently work) and Putnam (where I am moving to). Westchester is directly north of the city, north of the Bronx to be exact, and sick expensive. Rockland is directly across the Hudson River from Westchester and while there is a bridge involved, is just as expensive as living right next to the city, and Putnam is directly north of Westchester. Northern Putnam and the really out of the way places are more affordable, but Chris works in the city...so naturally we are moving to an area of Putnam that is right on the Westchester border. So...still pretty pricey albeit a little less. So here were my results of a single family home that you can get in each county for $250,000...

ROCKLAND
This lovely two bedroom "cottage" located in West Haverstraw, which is kind of like the suburban ghetto, located right next to what looks like a crack house. The description says "Handyman special! Sold as is" which translates to "total shitbox! good luck!"

WESTCHESTER
This dreamy semi-attached in Yonkers! Also sold, "as is." Yonkers has nice areas and really not nice areas. For the most part Westchester County is really nice, with one or two exceptions, but hence is by far the most expensive county. Everything I pulled up on a 250K search was either in ghetto Yonkers, ghetto Mount Vernon, or a one bedroom cottage on a lake somewhere that looked like something out of deliverance.

PUTNAM
Putnam county is great. It's a lot of land and conservation areas and lakes. Gorgeous places in Putnam exist. But it is basically the place you go when you want to still be able to commute to the city but you just can't afford to buy anywhere else. However by national standards, it is still not cheap. Not at all. As it is Chris's train ride is going to be 70 minutes long and we are moving to the southern-most reasonable tip of Putnam that we could find near a train station!! So I found this oh so lovely two bedroom ranch in Brewster, which is the town we are moving to. The description boasts things like "level lot" and "great for investors- do a flip!" which basically says hey, we know this house is a shitbox. That's why we're selling it for so cheap. Oh but don't worry, taxes on this baby are still $7,000 a year. Imagine an actual nice house? Yea. Welcome to my world.

Let's play another little game now. What can you get for 500K in these counties? In most other places in the US, you can get an effing mansion for 500K. Let's see what our search turns up..

ROCKLAND
A 3 bedroom ranch in New City, which does boast the best schools in Rockland. This house is 1500 square feet, .95 acres of land, and $9000 a year in taxes. It costs 500K.

WESTCHESTER
This lovely 4 bedroom in Greenburgh! A whopping 1600 square feet! One tenth of an acre of land. Okay area. Looks like something someone's grandma must live in. $10,000 a year in taxes. Did I mention that Westchester is obscenely expensive and that is why I will never live there???


PUTNAM
Well, I suppose this is a house that almost looks like it should cost 500K! Although I realize that to anyone else in any other part of the county, this house looks like it should cost about 300K. 4 bedrooms, 2500 square feet, 1.2 acres. But this is why I am moving to Brewster, I guess. Just a bit farther north and things do change at least a little.

So what about our place? We found ourselves the least expensive house in all of Brewster that was still actually nice, which as it so happens is also the most we could ever humanly possibly afford at this time. And it's a lovely little...and let me restate that...LITTLE house. 1300 square feet of little..although that doesn't include the full basement we intend to finish. Honestly, I am not in the least complaining about the house we bought. I love it. It's perfect for us right now. I am just so happy that we can buy anything at all, and while I am BAFFLED that houses cost so much in this area, I do not need some big house, as previously stated. I am honestly in love with our little home, the idea of having our own place with our own back yard, and the town that we are moving to (Brewster). The house is a three bedroom ranch on an acre of land. The land is what really sold us on this place. It's got a huge backyard and what feels like endless woods behind that house. And woods they won't build on. There are big evergreens separating our house from the houses next to us, and they are plenty far away. It's got charm. A cute little fireplace room with an entire wall of built in book shelf. Yea. We love it. And it doesn't really need work, other than some cosmetic stuff and some sprucing up of the landscape. But all the big stuff...windows, roof, driveway, etc...is all done.I won't even let you guess how much it cost, but with the housing market as it is (remember that folks...all these houses you see above still cost 250K despite the housing crisis. Imagine a few years ago?) it wasn't nearly as much as it may have been two years ago. We managed to stay under 400K, but not by that much. And to be honest, the fact that it was under 400K blew our minds. Just a year ago nothing would even come UP on a real estate search for a single family home under 400K. Maybe that semi-attached in Yonkers. So honestly, we just feel lucky and proud of ourselves for being able to do this. It's been a long haul. We knew now was the time to buy. We had nothing to sell and some money in the bank and the interest rates were amazing. (We locked in around 5.6%...sad when I get so excited about something like that). So we went for it. However don't be surprised if all of a sudden I stop blogging because I had to give up my internet service to pay my mortgage.
Doh.
PS...here's what a million dollars can get you in Westchester. (sorry, I had to). Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, 2000 square feet, and one tenth of an acre. A million bucks and your neighbor is on top of you. Oh...and $17,000 a year in taxes. For the record, there are towns in Westchester that you can plug in homes worth a million dollars as the MAXIMUM...and no homes show up in the search.
IIIIII LOVE NEW YOOOORRRRKKK!!! Next edition...what can you can get for a million dollars in the five boroughs!!?

Rich People Are Assholes

I have never in my life had money. I don't know what it is like to come from money, have money, and will most likely never be rich. (Because I'm an idiot and live in NY where the cost of living is completely insane, but anyway....). I work in Westchester County, which for all intensive purposes is full of completely rich assholes. I mean stupid rich. $3000 on a bag is no big deal rich. A lot of people would most likely be jealous of this kind of lifestyle...the big house, the clothes, the vacations.

Me? I don't really see it that way. To be honest, I don't want a McMansion (my term for all these pre-fab huge brand new houses that they throw together in a month in developments of 10 and 20 at a time, and then charge a million dollars for. I despise them and would never want one). I'd much rather live in a tiny farmhouse with some character. And I don't need stuff. Stuff is exactly that. It's just useless STUFF. Do you know how much stuff I donate annually to good will and I don't even SHOP. It's still a lot of stuff! I have always been baffled with this country's obsession with stuff. We need more more more always more of tons of useless crapola. I will never understand it.

But this story I read this morning...this really effing cracked me up. The thing that kills me about rich assholes is that they try to act like they are just average people with financial struggles like everyone else. What they are forgetting is that they are having financial struggles because they bought a 5 million dollar house, married a gold digger who spends my salary in a month just buying clothes, and have shithole kids who want BMWs and then crash them two weeks later. I have struggles because I want to do things like get better, eat healthy food, and put gas in my car. And I have a Masters degree and am an Occupational Therapist and a Supervisor at my job! Yea. Still totally poor.
But listen to what this ass said. Jose Canseco recently foreclosed on his home because he just didn't want to pay for it anymore and knew he couldn't sell it right now. And this is what he had to say about it....

"You know my life, this financial thing, is a very complicated issue. Obviously, when you make all that money, people think, `OK, let's assume it is $35 million.' People have to understand that $35 million, you're paying the government 41 percent. That leaves you with about $17 or $18 million, not even. Then you're taking care of your whole family."

What!? You poor baby!! You have to take care of a FAMILY making only $17 or $18 mill!? Who could EVER afford to do that!?
S-H-I-T--H-O-L-E!!!

You see folks, this is just one indication of my problem with this country. People are all about making as much money as humanly possible with no regard for the little guy. People only care about what will fund their next ridiculous purchase. And unfortunately the little guy is roped into this and HE is the one foreclosing on his house because in actuality, he really couldn't afford it in the first place. In actuality, predatory lenders screwed him royally. In actuality, a government like we have right now cares only about progressing the big guy and shitting all over the little guy.

The scary thing is, that I have become the little guy. Again, me with my Masters Degree and professional job. The middle class is quickly disappearing. We have the rich, the poor, and the utterly destitute. It's a sad sad time for America.