Intercoms Are Awesome

You may not know how much fun an intercom can provide. That might be because you don't have one.

For those of you who don't already know, Chris and I currently rent the upstairs of my dad's house from him. (Though we just bought a house and are closing in May! Yippee!)
But in the meantime, we are here. My father, love him to death, is the most deaf human being on the face of the planet. Years of working on construction sites as an electrician will do that to you I suppose. He refuses to wear a hearing aid and speaks at a ridiculously loud volume.

Today I come home and see a little gray box plugged in on the counter in the kitchen. I click the button. "Testing?" My father responds that he got this for when my Uncle Michael moves in. (More on good news, once I move out, my Uncle is moving in. He lives alone in the town over and my cousins and I are all completely thrilled that our single dads will be living together so we can worry about them less...). Anyhow, my dad claims this way he won't have to bother my Uncle if he gets a phone call or needs him. He can just intercom on up. There is a locked door dividing the up and downstairs. For the most part we just leave it opened, but good to know it is there!
So I click it again. "Luuuuuke.....I am your faaaather." I probably said that about 12 times before my dad told me to knock it off. I walk away from the little gray box.

Check some email. Do some stuff for work. But I see it...taunting me... just sitting there, out of the corner of my eye. I creep back over to it. "WEEEEEEEEEE!!!" I squeal in a ridiculously high pitched voice. My dad responds asking if I need something. "No, I'm fine." Back to work. Two minutes pass, max. I wonder what other high pitched annoying sounds I can make. I wonder what it will sound like. I creep over again. "YIIIPPPPPEEEEEEEEEE!!" My dad tells me to knock it off. "Saawwreeee" I lament.

Write a few words. Tap tap tap my pen. Write a few more words. Tap again. I feel a bead of sweat or two form on my forehead. I charge from the table to the beautiful gray box and completely freak out, Tourette's style, making all sorts of ridiculous sounds and noises and words and songs and OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS THING!!!

I wait. Hmmm. No response. I go downstairs. There's my father, wearing the headphones we bought him for Xmas, as he tends to listen to the TV at a ridiculous volume. Looks like they work for drowning out crazy daughters as well. Why do I get the feeling that the little gray box will be removed from my kitchen by tomorrow....

Kurt

I heart Kurt Vonnegut. Just a little reminder...

Tug

I'm not just being partial. Tug is the best dog ever.


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Feeling Old

Man, I feel old. Not because I think 28 is old. I know it's not actually old. But because I can no longer hang. I mean let's be honest. I could NEVER really hang. But there was a time, once upon a time, that I could go out until all hours of the night, night after night, and sleep until ten the next day and be fine like nothing ever happened. Now I have maybe one good night in me and then I'm done. I think the main problem is that I can no longer sleep late. Not in the sense that I have so much to do that I can't sleep late, but as in my body won't let me. By 8 AM my body is just saying "What the hell, get out of bed you lazy shite!" So after karaoke on Wednesday I was a little reluctant to head out again with Brennan and Joe to Hoboken on Thursday. Chris had work all this week so he couldn't come out and it's a bit of a haul to Hoboken, but I went anyway. As always I'm GLAD I went. I had a kickass time. But by 2 AM the thought of driving home 45 minutes almost made me want to curl up on the sidewalk and just take a little nap until the morning. I could have stayed at my brother's place as he lives in Hoboken, but he had to work today and I figured ringing him up at 2 AM would have been a tad rude.

So here I am, it's 10 AM and I magically slept until 9 today. But two days out past 2 AM in a row and I'm seriously shot to hell. Chris and I are supposed to go hang with our friend, Dave Moretti tonight. Chris and Dave have been friends since high school and were in their sketch comedy group together. Dave is a pretty well known actor in the gay community and stars in a show called "The Lair" on the Here! network- a gay focused television network. That's him in the title pic on the right...without the fangs...it's a vampire show but he plays the detective! Anyway, he lives in LA but is in town tonight doing some big promotion party at a huge gay club in NYC and we were going to be "put on the list" so we could go. Then he tells us it doesn't actually START until after 11:30. I don't really know why I am surprised. Did I think the party at the gay club was somehow going to start at 7pm? No. It'll be an all night rager. So here I am thinking gee, is Dave by any chance available for dinner? I don't think I have a third night of going out in me. Especially being that NY stays open until after 4 AM. At least in the Jerz things close at 2!! Thankfully I think Dave does have some "free time" from 6-9 pm (god he's such an actor now, penciling us in and all, but gotta love him). Hopefully we'll get to go to dinner, maybe walk around the city a bit, and get the hell home.

Yup. I feel old.

Karaoke

Last night I went to Karaoke Night with Brennan and Joe. Joe is actually a legitimate musician --> Joe Wilson Music and pretty awesome if you ask me. But this makes for good times during Karaoke. The bar was definitely full of some interesting folk...
For starters, I pull up and see Brennan outside. "This guy's singing opera. He brought his own CD." What? I take a moment to listen and in fact he is correct. I walk in and see "Mickey" who is a 'Nam Vet busting a lung on some high notes. He retires to a corner when he is finished and I notice that he still has headphones on. He's sort of mumbling to himself. Holy crap, he's actually practicing for the next song...
But he's a 'Nam Vet. We all know this means he can do whatever the EFF he wants and no one should say a damn thing about it. Good for you, Mickey. Whatever gets you through the PTSD. (no, I mean seriously).
There were one or two legitimately good singers, Joe including, but for the most part it was your standard fare of horribly drunk trashy girls murdering already horrible songs like "Hotel California" (puke). At one point a group of insanely smashed girls tried to get up there and sing "Hey Jude." Now...isn't there a code? Isn't there a Karaoke code that says:

A) Never attempt to sing the Beatles
B) If you are stupid enough to attempt to sing the Beatles, don't sing "Hey Jude." Everyone knows that song and will know you are effing murdering it.
C) If your version of singing is more like screaming in a single flat key...don't sing at all!

No? Well, someone should make one. I did not personally sing any Karaoke though I did sing my little heart out at the table. The fact of the matter is, I certainly wasn't going to sing alone, Joe is an amazing singer who should sing alone and not with me, Brennan only wanted to scream backup for Joe, and I did not have a group of drunk sluts with me to go and sing some horrible version of "Magic Carpet Ride" - so I just sat this one out.

Here's Brennan and Joe rocking out to some Weezer. Score.

I'm Nervous....

...about the PA primary!!! I've already petitioned all my college friends who are from or still live in PA to make sure they are registered and go vote

Now let's just hope they listen! Being a New Yorker, I knew Hillary would win in NY- but I can at least hope that my college town and state will vote Obama! Eek!

Papillons and Kitties and...Birds? Oh My!

Look at this ridiculous love fest. My dog Tug (the red and white one), my brother's dog Holly...also a Papillon like Tug...and my cat Morgan. Let me tell you something. I have no idea how this happened. First of all, Morgan hates everyone. I love Morgan to death but she will scratch your freakin eyes out if you pet her 3 seconds beyond the point at which she no longer wishes to be pet. The fact that I walk in on her snuggling up with these two? Total insanity. We were watching my brother's dog Holly this weekend. And as for Holly, she is the reason I told Stephen to marry Jocelyn. No one has Papillons and when I found out she had one, I said she HAS to be the one. Tug was the only Papillon I'd ever seen in person at that point! But she is a pip. She thinks she is a rotweiller and will attempt to take on any dog, cat, or human if she wants. Typically she and Morgan do not get along. And as for my sweet little Tug. He is the best dog ever, but is a total wimp. He loves people and loves Morgan, but can do without other dogs. He is either scared of them or ignores them. He and Holly have learned to co-exist but he certainly is not apt to SNOOGLING with her!!
So this may have been the funniest thing I saw all day. Until it turned to the most disturbing.
Perhaps you don't see the fourth member of this little picture here. Yes, there is a fourth. After taking this picture, I went to go pet Holly. What's this? Holly, you have a feather in your tail. I go to pull it out. It's not pulling out. I look closer. What the...
It appears that Holly's tail fur is all matted in some sort of crazy cocooned rat's nest. Something is effing in there! I pick her up holding her as far away from me as I possibly could and run yelling downstairs to my father who is actually on the phone with Stephen. I'm squealing at this point. I shove the dog in my dad's arms and he takes her outside.
Then I hear HIM yelling. "Rainey!!! You won't believe this!!!"
AAAAAA! WHAT!!!!

Yea, you guessed it. There was a dead baby bird tangled in Holly's hair. I have absolutely no idea how this happened. I have no idea whether it was already dead or if it died in the throes of attempting to release itself from Holly's tail fluff. It was a tiny thing, but it was dead and tangled in her tail. I now start flipping out. She was sleeping in my bed last night! Has it been there since last night? Am I going to die of bird flu? Did I touch the bird and then unknowingly but my hands near my mouth? WHERE'S THE PURELL! OH MY GOD!!
My dad chops off hunks of Holly's tail fur to get this thing out and disposes of it. I call my brother squealing like a maniac. He is totally baffled. We are all totally baffled.

Something tells me that in the history of all dogs on the entire planet, this is the first time one has come inside with a dead baby bird tangled in its tail. I'd bet money on it. Someone PLEASE prove me wrong.

Obama in Scranton!

Senator Obama at the Glider Diner in Scranton! I have to say, even I wouldn't eat at the Glider, but kudos to Barack for giving it a go!

I went to college at the University of Scranton in Scranton, PA. Most people know Scranton from it's fame in the show "The Office" (and let me tell you, they have it dead on, and knowing about Scranton makes that show so much funnier because they throw in tons of jokes and references you'd only get if you are familiar with Scranton). But it's also an area of political focus. Scranton used to be "The Electric City" and was a booming economy for coal. Then the coal ran out. Scranton plunged into total destitution and was known for having the highest population of people over the age of 80, second only to some town in Florida. Essentially, the jobs died out and all the young people left. The University was about the only thing keeping it going. Healthcare, unemployment, social security...Scranton was an area in total crisis. But they made changes. Granted tons of money for city was earned by citing college students for underage drinking or even just being NEAR a party my sophomore year of college. In that one year, they cracked down on the students so hard that they managed to make enough to revitalize the city. Do I think this was the best way to go about it? Um. No. Certainly not when I was in college. But the amount of dough they racked up made for some seriously nice changes. Businesses started moving back into the downtown. Suddenly there were cute restaurants, new bars, boutiques. It almost looked like...a city again! I have to admit, Scranton is now a sweet little spot and I give it a lot of credit. It's not easy being North Eastern PA (NEPA for short). It's heavy on rain, clouds, and wind, and never short on dysfunction. It has hills so huge that it made me wish they'd install conveyor belts to get me to and from class. But all in all, I freakin' loved going to Scranton. And I freakin' love the NEPA. It's cheap as hell to live there. Chris and I have considered moving there on more than one occasion, but the pitiful job market means we'll be staying in New York. Most likely for good.

Way to go, Barack! Wish I was there to see you!!

Seeing Ex-Boyfriends

By some odd chain of events, I ended up in Philly yesterday for my ex-boyfriend Steve's 30th birthday. I realize how strange this sounds. Most specifically since Chris was away all weekend at National Guard. However, Chris was well aware that I was going and being that Steve and I dated a gazillion years ago, he was fine with it (or so he says). Steve and I have always remained friends. Not "hang out all the time" friends. But friends. And somehow it ended up that the extra ticket he had for the Phillies/Mets game was going to go to....yours truly.

At first I'm thinking this might be a little weird. The other game attendees are going to be his older brother and some friends. Friends that I have not seen since we dated. Aren't they going to think this is weird? But then I tell myself no. They probably won't even REMEMBER me as Lorraine the girl Steve dated. I'll just be his friend Lorraine from college. That's fine.

Except that I was dead wrong. His brother must have some kind of supersonic memory. Not only did he remember me as "the hot girl that Steve fucked it up with" (apparently he told Steve often that he was a total idiot for breaking up with me. I can't say I disagree of course) but he seemed to know things about me that implied I'd been a topic of conversation on more than one recent occasion. "Oh, is your husband still in the army? Are you still an occupational therapist? You live just outside NYC, right?" He seemed to know more about my life than Steve did when we were dating!!
Then there was Jay. I'm almost startled to think of the last time I saw Jay. It involved Steve and I visiting him and his girlfriend. To make a long story short, Jay ended up seeing me naked. So all I am thinking now is, "Does this guy remember me as the girl he saw naked? Does he have a mental image of me naked? No way, right?"
Wrong.
Jay comes up to me almost immediately and says, "Do you remember that time we all hung out when you came to visit Harrisburg?" with a look on his face that says, "And I totally saw you naked??" So I smirk back...yes yes I remember.

So I am officially "that girl." I'm NEVER "that girl." The one who everyone is looking at thinking what the eff is she doing here. Where's her husband? Doesn't anyone care that she's hanging out with someone she used to have "relations" with? Suddenly I am completely self conscious and thinking yea, what AM I doing here? But I'm just having innocent fun with someone I now see as a friend. So what if people here have had relations with me or seen me naked or think I'm the hot girl (which I find preposterous) . Eff em!

All in all it was actually a really good time. It did, however, remind me of things that I loved and hated about dating Steve. In college he was just the coolest in my eyes. Vegetarian straight edger addicted to hardcore music and speed metal? Yes please!! Of course while he is still a Vegetarian, he's mostly dropped all that as he drinks now and doesn't bounce around to hardcore shows melting his face off. But there was plenty of stuff that made me nuts. For example, his amazing ability to be late for EVERYthing. What was supposed to be my going to a 4pm Phillies game and some dinner turned into my not leaving until after 11pm. This would be because we didn't actually EAT until 10pm. Steve is the kind of guy who says he will be somewhere and then shows up 6 hours late. No seriously. 6 hours. Once he told me he would be at my house at 8pm and showed up at 2am. As if nothing was wrong. After the game, Steve told some friends he was just going to go back to his place to change and then meet them for dinner. In a normal world, this should take no longer than 15 or 20 minutes at MOST for guys.

Right.
Me and Steve and his bro and Jay all go back to Steve's place after the game. First off, I am then reminded how Steve is even more of a slob than I am. In fact he's just outright dirty. I almost didn't want to use his bathroom. He actually remarked "sorry if there are pubes and stuff in there" and something about Jay having explosive diarrhea and him puking last night. Awesome. I enter the bathroom wondering just what kind of hair that is exactly all over the sink. I believe I decided Steve was actually shaving facial hair that he left in the sink...let's hope. I notice some random tortilla chips in the wastebasket. I won't even begin to go into the condition of the toilet. I somehow manage to make it out alive.

I come out and see the boys set up in front of the X-Box. No one has made any move to go
change. They have something called "Rock Band" which is the next evolution of the "Guitar Hero" fame.

Steve on guitar. Jay on drums.

I realize the picture above looks more like two teenagers than two 30 year olds. But hang on just a minute now. There's a drum set? I need to try this. So I kick Jay out of the drummer seat. I love drumming! Love it! This is the best game ever! I need to buy an X-Box and the $200 Rock Band game...TOMORROW!! Crap. Wait. What time is it? Yea, you guessed it. Hours have gone by. Notice in the above photo that they are still in Phillies garb. Our "quick run home and change" turned into a Rock Band extravaganza. Now I have a slightly better understanding of what happens in the infinite lost hours of Steve-dom.
By the time we actually get out of the apartment and go eat it's about 10pm. I eat quickly and say bye to everyone, thinking perhaps I will see them again when they have forgotten the images of me naked. Perhaps not. But all in all, as seeing ex-boyfriends go, it was a good time.

Open Windows

Man I needed today. I needed it so bad. I'm sitting here right now with all the windows open listening to (you guessed it) the crickets sing to me. It was 79 degrees today. Don't get me wrong. I love all four seasons. But my mood is profoundly affected by so many things and sunlight happens to be a big one. So when I see the sun shining and I feel it on my skin- to be honest I'm more likely to slip into mania now more than ever! I get so happy I think I might burst. Then I get a little impulsive, I'll be honest. But all in all I had a kickass day.

For starters, I went to the district annual review meeting for one of the kids I work with. I managed to get him occupational therapy services over the summer, as well as have his OT continue twice a week for next year. Score. On the way to work after this I called my co-worker and told her we should run out and get salads and eat outside. We work on a main road in a building, but there is a small patch of sunny grass on a ledge out back and it is just perfect for eating lunch!! 40 minutes later we agree to go back inside, albeit reluctantly, as we had kids to see. I go into the bathroom and see my rosy cheeks and a few extra freckles and I just have to smile. Those little freckles mean the leaves will be out any time now, I'll be kayaking at my cousin Claire's lake house and going to the beach soon enough!!
Then...bonus. My 3:15 canceled. My 4:00 canceled. My 5:00 asked to come in early!! So i see him at 3:15 and I am OUT OF WORK by 4:15!!! I sit in some traffic on the way home but I don't even care as I have the windows down and Cold War Kids playing (great sunny day music). KK calls and asks me if I want to walk the lake. Hell yes I do. We motor it for 3.3 miles and then we decide to drive to Nyack and walk the sick hills there.


Yes, the horizon is the top of that hill. Granted we are only walking but KK has shitty asthma and I'm still a little bit of a joint disaster so we do whatever we can for exercise. (don't judge me, as I am clearly already judging myself...).
Came home and Chris was on his way to leaving for National Guard this weekend. I still cringe whenever I see him in those damned fatigues. I know some people think the army uniform is hot (though I have to say, when he's just wearing the pants with the brown t-shirt and the boots...well...yum...) BUT for the most part I just have horrible flashbacks to TN when he was working full time active duty and he'd come home in that damned thing every day. And of course Iraq.
But no worries. It didn't ruin my wonderful day. I did sit down for this blog with a mind racing, no doubt due to the sudden influx of sunshine and vitamin D. I have to remind myself to just stay calm tonight, not do any online purchasing, not go out and wander around by myself, and not do anything else that hints of mania...and I shall be fine.
Cheers to spring!!

**ADDENDUM**

Typically when Chris is not around, I end up not eating. I love to cook for him and for us but when it's just me, I just don't bother. But, as if today couldn't get any better, my father brought me SUSHI!!! Yes! Officially the greatest day ever!