Seeing Ex-Boyfriends

By some odd chain of events, I ended up in Philly yesterday for my ex-boyfriend Steve's 30th birthday. I realize how strange this sounds. Most specifically since Chris was away all weekend at National Guard. However, Chris was well aware that I was going and being that Steve and I dated a gazillion years ago, he was fine with it (or so he says). Steve and I have always remained friends. Not "hang out all the time" friends. But friends. And somehow it ended up that the extra ticket he had for the Phillies/Mets game was going to go to....yours truly.

At first I'm thinking this might be a little weird. The other game attendees are going to be his older brother and some friends. Friends that I have not seen since we dated. Aren't they going to think this is weird? But then I tell myself no. They probably won't even REMEMBER me as Lorraine the girl Steve dated. I'll just be his friend Lorraine from college. That's fine.

Except that I was dead wrong. His brother must have some kind of supersonic memory. Not only did he remember me as "the hot girl that Steve fucked it up with" (apparently he told Steve often that he was a total idiot for breaking up with me. I can't say I disagree of course) but he seemed to know things about me that implied I'd been a topic of conversation on more than one recent occasion. "Oh, is your husband still in the army? Are you still an occupational therapist? You live just outside NYC, right?" He seemed to know more about my life than Steve did when we were dating!!
Then there was Jay. I'm almost startled to think of the last time I saw Jay. It involved Steve and I visiting him and his girlfriend. To make a long story short, Jay ended up seeing me naked. So all I am thinking now is, "Does this guy remember me as the girl he saw naked? Does he have a mental image of me naked? No way, right?"
Wrong.
Jay comes up to me almost immediately and says, "Do you remember that time we all hung out when you came to visit Harrisburg?" with a look on his face that says, "And I totally saw you naked??" So I smirk back...yes yes I remember.

So I am officially "that girl." I'm NEVER "that girl." The one who everyone is looking at thinking what the eff is she doing here. Where's her husband? Doesn't anyone care that she's hanging out with someone she used to have "relations" with? Suddenly I am completely self conscious and thinking yea, what AM I doing here? But I'm just having innocent fun with someone I now see as a friend. So what if people here have had relations with me or seen me naked or think I'm the hot girl (which I find preposterous) . Eff em!

All in all it was actually a really good time. It did, however, remind me of things that I loved and hated about dating Steve. In college he was just the coolest in my eyes. Vegetarian straight edger addicted to hardcore music and speed metal? Yes please!! Of course while he is still a Vegetarian, he's mostly dropped all that as he drinks now and doesn't bounce around to hardcore shows melting his face off. But there was plenty of stuff that made me nuts. For example, his amazing ability to be late for EVERYthing. What was supposed to be my going to a 4pm Phillies game and some dinner turned into my not leaving until after 11pm. This would be because we didn't actually EAT until 10pm. Steve is the kind of guy who says he will be somewhere and then shows up 6 hours late. No seriously. 6 hours. Once he told me he would be at my house at 8pm and showed up at 2am. As if nothing was wrong. After the game, Steve told some friends he was just going to go back to his place to change and then meet them for dinner. In a normal world, this should take no longer than 15 or 20 minutes at MOST for guys.

Right.
Me and Steve and his bro and Jay all go back to Steve's place after the game. First off, I am then reminded how Steve is even more of a slob than I am. In fact he's just outright dirty. I almost didn't want to use his bathroom. He actually remarked "sorry if there are pubes and stuff in there" and something about Jay having explosive diarrhea and him puking last night. Awesome. I enter the bathroom wondering just what kind of hair that is exactly all over the sink. I believe I decided Steve was actually shaving facial hair that he left in the sink...let's hope. I notice some random tortilla chips in the wastebasket. I won't even begin to go into the condition of the toilet. I somehow manage to make it out alive.

I come out and see the boys set up in front of the X-Box. No one has made any move to go
change. They have something called "Rock Band" which is the next evolution of the "Guitar Hero" fame.

Steve on guitar. Jay on drums.

I realize the picture above looks more like two teenagers than two 30 year olds. But hang on just a minute now. There's a drum set? I need to try this. So I kick Jay out of the drummer seat. I love drumming! Love it! This is the best game ever! I need to buy an X-Box and the $200 Rock Band game...TOMORROW!! Crap. Wait. What time is it? Yea, you guessed it. Hours have gone by. Notice in the above photo that they are still in Phillies garb. Our "quick run home and change" turned into a Rock Band extravaganza. Now I have a slightly better understanding of what happens in the infinite lost hours of Steve-dom.
By the time we actually get out of the apartment and go eat it's about 10pm. I eat quickly and say bye to everyone, thinking perhaps I will see them again when they have forgotten the images of me naked. Perhaps not. But all in all, as seeing ex-boyfriends go, it was a good time.