Well, as long as I am sitting around here, I may as well write a bit more. My very cutest, shortest, most Italian little Nonna (that's grandma) died this past week. She was 91. So no, it was certainly no unexpected tragedy, but damn she sure was cute!
Something has to be said for 91 year old Nonna, though. The woman was probably in better health than I was. The only thing unexpected about a 91 year old woman dying was that you'd swear this woman was going to live forever. Did she eat right and exercise? Hell no! The woman was on a purely Italian diet of pasta and as much olive oil and cheese as you could stomach. But she did always keep active. Granted Nonna was never at the gym doing crunches or taking "Silver Sneakers" aerobics classes (after all, I never saw the woman in a pair of pants my entire life- only skirts, sweaters, and aprons...let alone some spandex jazzercise ensemble, and after decades in this country never really bothered to learn to speak English). But damn did that woman love to clean. And clean and clean and clean. She swept carpeted rooms! She swept the driveway! She never stopped moving. The only time I'd see her in front of a TV was to watch WWF Wrestling ("The men! They fight!")
So here's to you, Nonna. The longest living member of our entire family. Trust me, making it to 70 is a big effing deal in the DeNichilo/Fedofsky clan. Let alone 90!!!
And for one brief, sarcastic moment, please allow this atheist to comment on the Catholic wake/burial process. When I die, please do not cart my sorry made up ass out there for everyone to gawk at. And touch. And kiss. And put rosaries on. And please do no invite some disgruntled priest to say a prayer and butcher my ethnic name 500 times all while looking bored out of his mind (Luigia DeNichilo came out more like "Loogie DeNickooli"). And please PLEASE do not bury me in a Catholic cemetery that requires a mass to be said in order for me to be buried there. Besides the fact that the smell of incense makes me want to vomit and...oh yea...I'M AN ATHEIST...it's all just a whole lotta hooplah that makes no one feel better. I don't believe in the afterlife so there is no need to assure that my soul does not suffer eternal damnation because a priest didn't sprinkle magical water on my casket. Not to mention that all those Catholic statues of Mary creep me out. Listen, I went to Catholic school my whole life. Hell even my college was Jesuit. I know the rules. I simply do not believe a single one of them.
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