The Pros Know! Part II

So here is my next installment about the professionals who are helping me along my path to feeling better. Along with Dr. Brand, I have the folks over at Wholistic Physical Therapy to thank. WPT is a center run by Scott van Niekerk, a physical therapist, who specializes in Myofascial Release. Please take a moment to visit the above link to see what myofascial release (MFR) is all about- I'd try to explain it myself but I'd rather you get the information from the source itself. To put it very (very) generally though, MFR is essentially the process of releasing fascial restrictions that are inhibiting the body...and mind for that matter...from reaching its full potential.
So let me back up for a moment so I can give you a little background.
I started going to WPT in June of 2007. For about a year to a year and a half prior to this I was in pain every single day. Between the open heart surgery and the Lymes disease, my body was an absolute mess. As I stated in a previous blog, I honestly believed I'd have to switch to some sort of desk job before the age of 30 as I could no longer handle the physical demand of being an occupational therapist. The pain was relentless and seemed to get worse by the day. As my co-workers put it, I sulked around with a look that said, "It hurts, but don't cry." And it's true. I spent the large majority of my day on the verge of tears popping Advil like they were going out of style. I was bouncing from doctor to doctor who were giving me near death sentences and dooming me to a life of limited movement. None of this felt right. Traditional medicine was giving me nothing but grief.

Something had to change.

Being an occupational therapist, I knew a little bit about MFR. My sister had mentioned that she took a short course on it (she is also an OT) and suggested I look into it further. I called around to a few places but I wasn't finding anyone I liked. Finally, I (also at random) came across WPT's website and emailed Scott. If I can say one thing about myself it is that I trust my first impressions. Most of the time I'm right. Something about the way Scott responded told me that his facility was where I needed to be. I believe I called it a "vibe" that he gave me, and it's been proven absolutely right. From the moment I walked in there I knew I was doing the right thing. You honestly get the feeling that people CARE about how you're doing. A rare thing in healthcare unfortunately!
Granted it took some getting used to. MFR makes your body do things you never thought possible. It's completely hands on more or less. For me this is very comforting, but I can see how some people might be taken back by this. Personally, I need that to feel connected to what is going on. As for how it feels? Sometimes it feels really good. A lot of the time it feels...not so good! It's a lot of hard work and a lot of work at home, but worth every minute. Due to my insane work schedule I have exactly one free time a week that I can get there (anyone could ask the receptionists about how I neurotically book my appointments a month in advance..."Put me in at seven. SEVEN DAMMIT!!!!" as it's the only time I can do and I don't want to lose out on an appointment). For this reason I tend to see Scott. But everyone there is great. All the therapists are extremely friendly and knowledgeable. As for Scott, he will push you. And push you some more. But always with compassion and never beyond the breaking point. I must say he is one of the most calming people I have ever met in my entire life. I tend to go in there all crazed from my day and just hearing him talk to me calms me down. And furthermore, I trust him. For those of you who know me, you know this is no small thing. I trust no one. I have a list of about 5 people I truly trust. He happens to be on it. If that doesn't say a lot, I don't know what does. It's a safe place. That's important to me.

So...how has WPT and MFR helped me...I don't think I'd have enough time to type a post that long. The list goes on and on. For starters, my pain has decreased significantly. I no longer dread things like...oh I don't know...WALKING and SITTING DOWN! It's not to say that I am pain free. I still have my bad days. But it's not EVERY day. It used to be. It's to the point now that I can bear it without giving up. I took Advil only 5 times this past month. Yes, I counted. Because I used to take it almost every day. (for xmas Chris got me a portable Advil pill holder! I mean that's pretty sad!!). But the pain is only part of it. When Scott named his facility Wholistic PT...he meant the WHOLE body. There were things that MFR has done that I never imagined. He told me that in some ways it can be an emotional therapy. In my head I thought this was ridiculous. I was a product of years of psychiatry, after all. And I had my carefully constructed walls built to prevent anyone from getting in. Oh no, I thought, there is no way in hell this man is going to go "THERE."

As if I had a choice.

To try to explain the emotional component that MFR has tapped into would be very hard without getting into great detail. But the parts of my mind it opened up, things that flooded my mind, things that I had shut out years and years ago and swore I'd never let resurface. It was unreal. And on more than one occasion I've lost total control of my strict determination to keep the past at bay. My total obsession with independence and the need for no one but myself, my total obsession with not letting anything surface long enough to face the truth, my total obsession with DENIAL....all shot to hell!! In an instant!! And without warning. This was, needless to say, completely overwhelming. Yet at the same time felt amazing. I contribute a large portion of my ability to be off medications and feel less crazy to the fact that during my sessions I've been forced to be more present with my past. To acknowledge it and then allow myself to move on from it (rather than shoving it in some dark corner like nothing ever happened). And to think, all of this without even saying a word. I never have to talk if I don't want to. But the amazing thing is that I don't have to. So be warned. When they tell you that there an emotional component, they aren't kidding.

Going to WPT may be the hardest part of my week, and yet it is my favorite. I look forward to it, no matter how painful I know it may be. No matter how much I may dread that next loss of control, I know that they are all there to help me through it. I don't need to huddle alone in a corner in pain anymore. Not physically, not mentally, not at all. Between Dr. Brand and Scott and yes, ME...I can see only good things on the horizon (yes, you just heard Lorraine being optimistic. Don't drop dead.)

This blog, along with all the other avenues I am trying to take, can do nothing but help me along. And of course the support of everyone around me. Good things are coming.